Parent Poll: Is Homework a Hassle?

Photo: apdk on Flickr

Like those tiny sponge toys that freakishly grow when placed into water, a simple 20-minute homework assignment can grow into hours worth of pouting and whining and shouts of "I'm NOT doing my homework!" Or at least that's the case at my house... please tell me I'm not alone in my homework hassles.

My son is a very bright kid but, to him, homework is as fun as washing dishes or -- worse -- cleaning up the backyard after the dog. When there are bikes to be ridden and footballs to be tossed and toys to be played with, homework is the very last thing he wants to do.

I adopted my son when he was 10. Prior to that he hadn't been taught good study habits. But, as he now rounding the corner toward 13, I think my blaming his lack of study habits and motivation on his past is as nonsensical as my sister who blames her extra pounds on "baby weight" (even though her "babies are 20 and 21).

For a long time I hoped that, with my encouragement, my son would start to value the intrinsic rewards of doing his homework. (I know... I know. Go ahead and laugh.) But the longer I've been a parent, the more I've realized that the simple truth is homework in and of itself isn't something my kid is going to enjoy. While he'll be proud of the good grades he'll bring home, that far-away reward just isn't valuable enough to motivate him to do his nightly work.

After researching, talking to teachers, consulting with parents who aren't as green as I am, and climbing mountains to talk to gurus (okay maybe not that last one), here's what I've come up with:

• Study time, not homework time. We set aside a half-hour every evening for study time. Even if he doesn't have assigned homework, my son has to do silent reading or review work.
  
• Rewards. My son values outdoor play time above everything else, so he needs to complete his homework before we can go outside and play basketball or he can play with neighborhood friends.
• I need to be quiet. Nagging backfires on me every single time. It's better for me to remind him that he needs to get going on his homework, and then keep my mouth closed.
  
• Make the house homework friendly. When it's time for him to work, the TV and the radio are off and I engage myself in something quiet such as reading or working on the computer.
• Help has boundaries. When my son used to ask me to help him with his homework, he used to want me to DO his homework. (I assume a foster parent or someone in his past used to do this for him.) While every child is different, my son does best when I leave him to it and just keep myself available for assistance when he truly needs a helping hand.
  
• Check and cheer. When he's completed his homework, I check it over and then I praise him and give him hugs for a job well done.
• He's got no strings. When my son is really fighting his homework, I have to accept that I can't make him do it. He'll have to comply with the restrictions of no outdoor play and he'll know that I'm disappointed. He'll also have to deal with the bad grade and, if he was argumentative or disrespectful with me he'll have consequences for that. But I can't MAKE him do his work. Sometimes kids just have to live with the consequences in order to learn.
  

Is homework a hassle in your house? Vote in our Parent Poll. If you have any homework tips or stories to share, please comment.

Update: The results of our Parent Poll are in. 58% of ChatterKid readers agree that getting their kids to do their homework is a hassle. 33% sometimes have trouble with their kids. A lucky 8% report that homework is never a hassle in their house.